I face a screen and write about nothing at all, and then, I see words form and sentences take life, and suddenly, it all means something.
On most days, there is nothing to say, but should we not write, then? I disagree. We ought to only do this in a blank, hazy sort of space where if someone asked what was on our mind, we would not have an answer, only a hint, a little suggestion. I think that is when we should sit and write. It is the only moment when the words roam free like wild animals over the prairies, with no end in sight, no limit, and no boundary. Boundless bounty of meaning awaits when we do not begin with a destination in mind.
It is how I live my life, and it is how I write these words, and now and then, a little bit of doubt settles into my heart, but then, it drains away with a belated shower in the middle of March. It should not be raining, they have commented lately in small talk and long conversation about all sorts of things and the state of the world, and I have thought, but it has, but it has rained. What do we do now? That is the question. It is cold again, and it does not feel like spring. There are all sorts of things science has to say about it. But when it comes to us, all we can do is wear some pullovers we already put in a box during spring cleaning. All closets are in a frenzy these days. The clothes that should be in are coming out again, and then, we dare to pretend we know where things are going, that we have any sort of control over anything at all.
So, why start with a goal in mind? If you want to paint, by all means, paint. If you want to write, by all means, begin. It is as good a moment as any; it is as good a thought as any. Life is, but whim incarnated. All our actions, despite their chains of meaning and motivation dragging them down, are but momentary thoughts acted out. It is how most good things come out of life, after all. All words, all laughter, all kisses, all dreams, all happiness I’ve had have come out of fleeting thoughts where for a second, I knew what I wanted from life.
For just a second, yes; live long enough, and you will realise that much is enough.